I was close to choosing this as a prologue. In its outline state it seemed to tick all the boxes: the cast of characters was small, it was set almost two thousand years in the past, it revealed important information about the way in which the world of Vestigium operates and why, it was clear about the genre of the series, and it even set out an “impossible problem” for the protagonists to solve, in establishing Kalastri as the System’s supreme power to beat.
However, sometimes hitting all the right beats isn’t enough. Most of all, I wasn’t happy with the middle; a formal document doesn’t make for an exciting read, regardless if it’s three pages or half a page long. I tried to improve it by cutting out The Final Draft […] and replacing it with internalisations, descriptions, and the characters talking about it, but somehow it became worse. Maybe, I lack the skill to turn this into the prologue I’d be satisfied with, or maybe, the inspiration will strike me at some point and I will say to myself, ‘Of course! I should’ve thought of this before. The answer was staring me in the face the whole time.’ But right now, given all the other more pressing things I’m working on, I must put a pin in this assignment.
I plan to return to working on an introduction, once volume one, The Book of Elvar, is ready. At that point, I might discover that I didn’t need a prologue after all, because everything is clearly expressed in the main story. Or, with the whole of the book before my eyes, I shall be better equipped to decide what would work best as a prologue. That was how this idea had emerged, anyway: once I’d finished the first manuscript, I thought things would make more sense if the story started with a bit of background. So, who knows? This longevous editing process might reveal something else. We’ll see.
MB
The Great Agreement
For the past couple of hours, an impertinent itch pestered the tip of Allimár’s right horn. A figment of his imagination, for certain; since birth, his elders had carved within him the superstition that the horns of a Tevroun weren’t just plain keratin, but antennae for detecting portents of danger, so it was hard not to be tempted by fanciful whims at a time of such grief.
It had all began with his pacing the floor of the visitors’ quarters, the only chamber he’d visited on board that space station, empty and vast like a prisoncell the size of a manor, silver and sterile like the surface of an operating table. He was muttering to himself, all alone, thinking about his liege and Her Majesty in the middle of the conference, away from his guarding eye, alongside every foe they had fought against, many of whom they had defeated before the unjust intervention of their fearsome hosts. Then, the featureless greyness surrounding him had transformed into a shiny meadow. His worry had increased a million times when he’d recognised it; it was his favourite corner of his school, perfectly replicated as if a divine hand had taken from his mind every blade of grass, every flower, every weed, every insect, and had drawn it just as he remembered them.
His eyes raised to the ceiling and squinted at the sight of a springtime sky, as his furry hand lowered over the tiny petals of a bunch of ragwort, stroking what felt indistinguishable from real flowers. The sounds and the sights were all there; the only hint to imitation was the lack of scent. What chance did they have against a power so great? Even the High Temple, with the combined skill of ten thousand Gifted Nïam, couldn’t produce such a fine illusion… He immediately bowed his head and asked the Holy Mother for forgiveness, for he knew that the might of his gods was greater.
Under a startling flash of light, a tall and well-built man, though not as tall and well-built as himself, appeared up ahead. It was Sage Zetes of Arannoustex, his lord and master, dressed in a plain white jumpsuit instead of his black and red robes and his ceremonial effects. Nonetheless, he was as intimidating as ever; nothing, not even pure nakedness, could lessen the poise of an Urroun. His thick fist was carrying a small scroll. Allimár bowed at length, before he could have been insolent to have asked about it.
Usually, the Urrumm rose to become great commanders and generals, but Sage Zetes was a specimen of many intellectual gifts, so he had been elected to the Sixth Seat of the Council of Elders at the age of 68, only seven years ago. Since then, it has been Allimár’s honour to shadow his every step. In fact, there was a fraternal element tied to their bond of Service, despite the fact that no one would ever assume that they were related. Sage Zetes was a creature with predator eyes that could see in the dark, who ate meat and was sensitive to smells, who was an instinctive master of weapons and war, while Boddar Allimár was a horned being covered from head to toe in hair as soft as his heart, and couldn’t bear eating anything with a pulse, even though he could throw a spear very far and very accurately.
The meadow faded with the Sage’s every nearing step. When the two were separated by just a threesome of paces, a desk they knew too well appeared between them. Sage Zetes, just like Allimár had done inside his own sanctuary, tested its solidity and the realness of the familiar objects laid upon it, while the rest of the furniture, the floor, and the walls materialised around them, bearing no flaw to betray the imitation. Both of Allimár’s horns were now itching as if rasped.
‘What was that place?’ Sage Zetes said. ‘That field from before?’
‘Just a corner of the Garden of Edriphaya, my Sage. I used to go there as a child.’
‘I wager it was a place that brought you peace.’
‘Indeed, my Sage. I used to hide there, often to skip the Mathematics class… How did you know?’
‘Our hosts have sensed your nervousness and tried to soothe you with a cherished memory,’ Sage Zetes said, as his free hand laid resting on a glass ornament he enjoyed spinning when he was pestered by troublesome thoughts.
‘Have they done the same to you at the conference, sir?’ Allimár said.
‘They have done quite the opposite,’ he said, in a soft whisper. ‘They’ve put me face to face with my long departed mother…’
‘I… I don’t understand… H-How?’
With a faraway look in his eyes, Sage Zetes was pushed to his chair by a heavy weight. Never before had Allimár witnessed discomposure in his master.
‘We have met none of our hosts. Each delegate was addressed by the memory of someone dear, someone whom they trusted,’ Sage Zetes said. ‘Most illusions were of people who have died.’
‘Why are they entering our minds, my Sage? Is it to frighten us into submission?’
‘We are beyond that point, Boddar Allimár. We have gone past it two weeks ago, when they obliterated three orbital cities and took the lives of 17 million people in one instant,’ Sage Zetes said. ‘The aim behind these tricks is to manipulate us… to make us less inclined to argue or be suspicious.’
He fell silent. The absent way in which he looked through his iridescent glass ornament frightened Allimár. He stepped a little closer to his liege, touched the side chair and clawed its leathery backrest. He examined Sage Zetes’ brow, which was drenched in perspiration. The worries hidden behind that statue-like face have never been greater.
‘My Sage,’ Allimár said, with a giant knot in his stomach, ‘would I be out of line if I asked you about the conference? About the decisions you’ve made?’
Sage Zetes straightened in his seat unexpectedly. He beheld him with wide alertness, as if awakened from a restless slumber.
‘Indeed no,’ he said. ’Nothing discussed at this conference and the next should be kept from you or anyone else. These decisions will affect everyone, everywhere. You may see what it is to come, right now.’
He unsealed the scroll with an abrupt move, unravelled it on the desk, and pushed it forward to his guard. Allimár picked it up. It was a long document written in bold, square letters, so unlike the typically dainty script of Kaÿdoni, that it was difficult to read fast. It was titled The Final Draft of The Great Agreement (Soon To Be Signed by Your Rulers). It said:
For clarity and cohesion, this document will refrain from the use of endonyms. Thus, the word “Sadal” will be used instead of “Ummat”, the word “Erka” will be used instead of “Paÿoddi”, the word “Pasiff” will be used instead of “Namÿoddi”, the word “Kalastri” will be used instead of “Tarÿoddi”, and the word “Jove” will be used instead of “Bahadó”. For the purpose of UNIFICATION (see article 2), once the agreement is signed by your rulers, the use of endonyms will be prohibited systemwide, thus the words “Sadal”, “Erka”, “Pasiff”, “Kalastri”, and “Jove” will become the only acceptable terms for the bodies of the planetary system we inhabit.
For clarity and cohesion, this document will refer to the neospecies you call “Urrumm”, as “Laccons”, and to the neospecies you call “Nïam”, as “Nymphs”. Also, those who do not belong to the aforementioned neospecies will be referred to as “non-Laccon” and/or “non-Nymph”, depending on the context.
For clarity and cohesion, this document will ignore “1075” as the current year devised by the Adhimerian calendar. Also, it will ignore “1034 in the 3rd quadrant of the MXV era” as the current year devised by the Kalastrian calendar. Henceforth, this year will be known as “Year One PB (Post-Bellum)”.
The purpose of this document is to outline (1) a non-final list of CONCESSIONS for the defeated parties, (2) the first steps towards a path towards UNIFICATION, (3) a curb on all dangerous ADVANCEMENT OF SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY, and (4) a method for ASSESSING THE SUCCESS of this treaty. The purpose of the agreement soon to be signed by your rulers is to protect the integrity of the fragile planetary system around Jove. We (known henceforth as “Kalastrians”), as the decisive victors of what will henceforth be known as “The Great Omnibellum”, will preside over protecting the integrity of our planetary system, thus we will become the moral arbiter and military authority of our planetary system. Those who wish to stand against us will face immediate obliteration.
Allimár needed to sit at this point. Although he wanted to be back in his meadow, away from all this, he kept on reading:
The following articles will be expanded upon in the final agreement soon to be signed by your rulers, which will be known as “The Great Agreement”.
(1) CONCESSIONS
x. The Kaÿdoni Empire will dismantle all her temples on the surface of Pasiff. The Kaÿdoni Empire will be forbidden from erecting new temples or restoring old temples on the surface of Pasiff for two thousand years. Further details will be provided.
xx. As retribution against the plundering committed by Pasiff against Sadal, Pasiff will refrain from mining Jovian gas and other brute materials near Jove for two thousand years. Pasiff will be restricted to mining the External Asteroid Space, within specified zones to be outlined in “The Great Agreement”. Further details will be provided.
xxx. No empire should form on the surface of Erka for two thousand years. Further details will be provided.
xm|1. Henceforth, Sadal must be inhabited exclusively by Nymphs. The Pasiffan Nymphs who feel loyalty towards Sadal will be welcomed on Sadal, while those who feel otherwise will relocate to Erka.
xm|2. Henceforth, Pasiff must be inhabited exclusively by Laccons. The Sadalian Laccons who feel loyalty towards Pasiff will be welcomed on Pasiff, while those who feel otherwise will relocate to Erka.
xm|1+2. The Kalastrians will assist in the displacement. Further details will be provided.
xxm|1. The Erkan region known as “Possada” will be designated as a new home for the non-Nymph neospecies with strong loyalty towards Sadal, particularly the Kaÿdoni Empire. The influence from their parent home will be allowed, but restricted and carefully monitored by Kalastri. Further details will be provided.
xxm|2. The Erkan region known as “Elcaria” will be designated as a new home for the non-Laccon neospecies with strong loyalty towards Pasiff, particularly the supernation known as “Pelopsia”. The influence from their parent home will be allowed, but restricted and carefully monitored by Kalastri. Further details will be provided.
xxxm|1. The rest of Erka will welcome the non-Nymph/non-Laccon neospecies displaced from Sadal with no loyalty towards the Kaÿdoni Empire. These displaced peoples will not assume the status of refugees; they will become full members of the nation which welcomes them, with no aims, hopes, or dogma of a future return to Sadal.
xxxm|2. The rest of Erka will welcome the non-Nymph/non-Laccon neospecies displaced from Pasiff with no loyalty towards the “Pelopsia” supernation. These displaced peoples will not assume the status of refugees; they will become full members of the nation which welcomes them, with no aims, hopes, or dogma of a future return to Pasiff.
xxxm|1+2. The Kalastrians will assist in the relocation and integration. Further details will be provided.
(2) UNIFICATION
The planetary system around Jove is an artificial habitat of high intricacy and yet to be determined origin. The destinies of Kalastri, Sadal, Erka, and Pasiff are closely tied, thus it became the responsibility of Kalastri, as the most advanced of the four, to intervene when it became apparent that the other three were about to commit self-destruction through a systemwide war. From the day of their decisive victory onwards, the aim of the Kalastrians has been to ensure the system’s integrity and continuation of human life and human civilisation, as it is the unspecified yet self-evident goal of our ancient creators. The Kalastrian Calculators have determined that the most crucial way of ensuring the system’s integrity is a strategy of unification.
x. As a first step towards unification, Sadal, Erka, and Pasiff will engage in forming a Common Tongue during the next century, under strict Kalastrian monitoring, and will eliminate all distinct languages from common use. By the end of the next century, all peoples on Kalastri, Sadal, Erka, and Pasiff will use the same Common Tongue. Further details on attaining this goal will be provided.
xx. As a second step towards unification, Kalastri will share with Sadal, Erka, and Pasiff the data we have thus far gathered regarding our origin. While Kalastri does not take issue with general spirituality, so we do not seek to prohibit any religion, it is crucial that every person on Sadal, Erka, and Pasiff, regardless of age and background, learns and accepts the demonstrable truth about the origin of humanity in the planetary system around Jove. A reeducating programme will be established systemwide.
xxx. Further details regarding the following steps towards unification will be communicated to your rulers, during the final session tomorrow morning, before they will be expected to sign “The Great Agreement”.
(3) ADVANCEMENT OF SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY
x. Henceforth, Sadal, Erka, and Pasiff will be subjected to a general curb on scientific advancements, particularly in the development of genetics, robotics, space travel, weapons manufacturing, and artificial intelligence. The purpose behind this restriction is to ensure the integrity of the planetary system around Jove. Those who wish to refuse cooperation will be executed. Further details will be provided.
(4) ASSESSING THE SUCCESS
x. As the decisive victors against Sadal, Erka, and Pasiff, and as the military and technologically dominant force in the planetary system around Jove, Kalastri will strictly monitor that the laws of “The Great Agreement” will be observed systemwide. Henceforth, Kalastri will continuously evaluate the progress of the unification strategy put forward in the document. Henceforth, Kalastri will reassess the relevance of “The Great Agreement”, which may or may not be rewritten to satisfy the demands of the future state of affairs in the planetary system around Jove. The strictness or leniency of the potential future agreements will depend on the threat that Sadal, Erka, and Pasiff will pose to the integrity of the planetary system around Jove. Further details will be provided.
END NOTE: We are confident that tomorrow’s session will be our last, as the Kalastrian Calculators have endorsed the final version of “The Great Agreement”. As a consequence, the accepted rulers of Sadal, Erka, and Pasiff, excluding their advisors and security, will be invited into the conference room tomorrow morning, where they will be expected to sign the document. We are open to a small degree of negotiation, but we expect the session to go on smoothly. If any accepted ruler wishes to decline signing “The Great Agreement”, their county, nation, or empire will be put under full Kalastrian control and the entire ruling class will be executed, along with their advisors, their security, their families, their advisors’ families, and their security’s families. We cannot emphasise how vital it is that we maintain the integrity of the planetary system around Jove.
Authorised by the Kalastrian Calculators
and the Kalastrian Governing Entity.
Year One PB”
With shaking hands, Allimár let the long sheet of paper fall back on the desk. His head was spinning. From all the words that filled him with horror, from all the sentences that made him want to scream, a repetitive one, a filthy mantra, rang in his ear like a curse: Further details will be provided. This wasn’t the end; the worst was yet to come. And they won’t be there, beside Her Majesty, to support her when she will be forced to sign a document of ruin.
‘Why?’ he blared, unable to copy Sage Zetes’ impervious silence. ‘Why are they sending us away from our homes, to… to…?’ He lowered his eyes over the page, checking. ‘To “Erka”? Is this what they want me to call it? Well, they can threaten me as much as they wish, my Sage. I’ll never call it the way they want, even if they—‘
He couldn’t finish, because all air was sucked out of his lungs. He was suffocating. He fell to his knees. Sage Zetes dashed beside him and shook him hard.
‘Leave him be, damn you!’ he yelled, looking around at nothing. ‘He is upset, can’t you see? You have doomed him, so he’s bound to protest! Leave him be!’
He shook Allimár some more, to no avail. His Boddar was turning purple fast.
‘Leave him be, you sadists! You tyrants!’ Sage Zetes yelled again.
In the end, Allimár felt his airways opening, so he gulped for oxygen with thirst, coughing and inhaling and coughing.
‘You mustn’t speak in such ways, Boddar Allimár,’ Sage Zetes scolded him, though he was clearly relieved to watch him breathing again.
‘I… a-apologise… m-my S-Sage,’ he said.
Sage Zetes helped him back on to his chair with gentleness.
‘We will adapt, my friend,’ he said, while his predator pupils analysed the colour in his cheek. ‘We will adapt, and we will prevail. History does not end with us.’
‘But who will protect the Crown, my Sage? I am a Boddar of the Crown. Our Holy Parents have created me with the express purpose of defending those who are wiser, but who cannot defend themselves,’ Allimár said. ‘Will the Royal Apidemy of Edriphaya enrol Nïah boys from now on? Will they attempt to raise them into Boddars?’
‘They will have to.’
‘But…but… But that’s blasphemy! The Nïam are not built to be warriors, my Sage.’
‘We will adapt,’ Sage Zetes said, emphasising by squeezing his Boddar’s shoulder. ‘Our Holy Parents will guide us through this hardship, as they have guided Holy Næsdor through the Darkness of the Echoes. I place my trust in their hands, and so should you.’
‘I do, my Sage,’ Allimár said. ‘But… I’m afraid, sir. I’m afraid for our home, for how weak she will become without us… I’m afraid for our splendid civilisation… I’m afraid that it’ll perish.’
‘Let us pray that it will not be so,’ Sage Zetes said.
Immediately, Allimár was on his feet, bowed his horned-forehead and shut his eyes tight, opened his arms in surrender, and summoned the Holy Parents and the rest of the pantheon, beside his liege. They called for strength and wisdom, they called for patience and grace, but Allimár was long-defeated by the reality that he would be exiled from a home so beloved, through no fault of his own. Soon, like a cruel nightmare, the meadow inside the Garden of Edriphaya will be out of his reach. The perennial acer trees marking the pathway to his haven will never delight his sight again. He saw their might and their silver trunks too wide to surround with a pair of arms, he saw them in bloom, he saw them rich in foliage, he saw them clad in deep crimson. Then, he saw them uprooted by soulless fools. In his unwanted fantasy, the City of A Thousand Temples was deserted, every stone and every brick raised for the glory of the gods were demolished, the monuments and the shrines were toppled down, and the soothing songs of the altars were silent. As for those for whom the temples and the Crown existed, those who were Served, they abandoned meaning, they put down their pens and their brushes, they cast aside their instruments, they ceased their dancing, they burned their scrolls and their books, they forgot the wine and the cheer, godless and afraid, and bowed their heads and submitted to the faceless power of Kalastri.
Even if this shouldn’t take place, even if there was still hope for those of Kaÿdoni Faith, Allimár’s broken heart beat as if it had already happened. Though ashamed to despoil the Seat of Boddar with such a lack of restrain, he began to weep.
Thank you for reading!
Madeline Behr ♥︎
Read more Tales of the Jovian System — part of VESTIGIUM (making of)
Really enjoyed this. Great set up. Only criticism I have is the treaty goes on for to long. We get pretty quickly it's oppressive, then it becomes reptitive. Have Alimar (terrible of remembering names, even writen down) breaking down before finishing would help with thr flow, and allow you do display just how the oppressive it is throughout the rest of the story, and also builds suspension for the reader to learn more about what it says. But yeah, fantastic.
I really enjoyed this. Well done!